One of my favorite examples of how mixed up the English language is
right. Right, write, wright,
rite, all these words are pronounced the same but have different meanings. Also “right” has two different meanings, the direction
and “correct.” Giving rise to the
hilarious (and common) conversation: “Should I turn left?” “Right.”
Here are some more lovely examples of English sentences. Each sentence is entirely proper, but relies on
the multiple meanings (and pronunciations) of each word.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to
refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get
the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert
his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present,
he thought it was time to present
the present.
8) A bass was painted on the
head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid
for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the
oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things
when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer
fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind
was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the
painting I shed a tear...
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to
my most intimate friend?
And some lovely contradictions:
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham
in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a
bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? People recite at a
play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise
guy are opposites? Your house can burn up as it burns down; you fill in a form
by filling it out and, an alarm goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but
when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And one special example, there is a
two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other, and that is 'UP.’
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top
of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP
and why are the officers UP for election and why
is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to
brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP
the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special
meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP
an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed
is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close
it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page
and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If
you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP
is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but
if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it
is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is
clearing UP...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could
go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so...
Credits: The “right” moment is my own invention, but
the rest of the text was sent to me as an uncredited
email. My hat is off to whoever came up with all of these lovely examples.